this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
soo... how was my night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
