Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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