just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
