Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
