Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
