Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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