Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
