More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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