i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
