wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
