Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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