he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
