i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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