I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
