does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What a dumb baby whore.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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