I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
