he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
