That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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