This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
