They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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