im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
