You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
