I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize