I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
