Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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