my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He? As in you personified your dick?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
