We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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