Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
