I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
