Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
