I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
