Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
