They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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