I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
