you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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