do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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