Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize