carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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