Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think I am morally bankrupt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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