I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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