i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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