Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
