that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
