i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
