tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My vagina just clenched in fear
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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