eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
