Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
