i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
