There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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