So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
