when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
