He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
