hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize