3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
