Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize