You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
