Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize