Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
