I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
