She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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