the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
